Why Our Hook Up Culture is Ruining Your Sex Life


Sex is hot, sloppy, passionate, serious, casual, law-breaking, heart-breaking, “no big deal”, physical, emotional.

While our generation is in the midst of revolutionizing sex to equate to a basic handshake, some social deviants – otherwise referred to as prudes or old-fashioned have recognized the error in this trend. Yes, it is a beautiful thing that women are closer than ever before to enjoying a sense of sexual equality to men. Yet, is the mutual devaluation of sex, by both men and women, actually leading to it’s demise?

Sure, random hookups found via Tinder save us from meaningless conversations with strangers and a ton of money otherwise spent on potential partners’ drinks.  Yet could it be that by cutting out the casual, awkward conversations, we are in fact missing out on the chance to get to know someone who we were “meant” to meet? Perhaps a soul-mate, or at least a sex-mate who shares your fetishes and fantasies.

The very thing we’ve come to rely on for meeting possible mates has come back to bite us in the ass. Instead of connecting people, more often than not modern technology ends up disconnecting us from our surroundings. The alluring glow of smartphones and the anticipated vibration of a potential text or Tinder match pull us away from reality. This dulls our desire to interact with potential lovers in real time, hindering the development of emotions, which are the foundation of actual “live” relationships.


via weheartit

The hook-up culture coupled with our rising dependence on technology has made our generation so emotionally lazy, it’s disheartening. Organic, in-person interactions are deteriorating — flirty looks exchanged between two strangers and the awkwardly wonderful conversations that follow are growing scarce. Instead of getting to the know the actual people around us, we’re more concerned with quick-fixes within our Tinder radius.

While random hookups may satisfy a primal desire for the moment, that is usually the extent of what they offer. Such a, often alcohol-infused, scenario may seem like a wonderful idea as you stumble out of the bar at last call with a fabulous new accessory (beer-goggles). One-night stands can be good, however, most are far from Hollywood sex-scene good. The reason is simple: mind-blowing, headboard rattling sex is more than just physical, it requires a connection and communication. Chemistry cannot be forged and a stranger that knows nothing of your preferences, quirks, or fetishes will not be able to satisfy your deepest desires the way someone you’ve established a deep understanding with can.

So let’s stop ruining the most amazing thing in the world: Sex. Let’s put the hookup culture to bed. We cannot be remembered as the generation that simplified sex to a few snapchats and unmemorable romps. The future of sex lies in our hands – let’s not waste the chance to salvage it, typing yet another emotion-lacking text.


~ Why Our Hook Up Culture is Ruining Your Sex Life ~

Alexandra Sharova

A Russian-Californian hybrid who loves poetry, Black Sabbath and pickles