I Tried Slaphappy, The Swiss Army Knife of Vibrators

Swiss Army knives allow you the portable opportunity to cut things, file your nails, and tweeze your eyebrows. The Slaphappy, the Swiss Army knife of vibrators, allows you to flexibly stimulate all your titillating bits at a number of speeds and rhythms, alone or with a partner, and to spank and be spanked. While there are (thankfully) no sharp objects involved with the Slaphappy, its innovative multi-functionality makes the Swiss Army knife comparison apt.

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From the makers of “masturbation appliance” Autoblow 2, Slaphappy is a woman’s vibrator that claims to be five vibrators in one. A sample was mailed to the office in a discrete box, and I had the (literal) pleasure of reviewing the toy.

With a simple power button, it looks like a TV remote control.

The Slaphappy appears unlike any vibrator you’ve seen before. It’s long, flat, and wide, with a battery cartridge at one end and a rounded vibrating tip on the underside of the other end. With a simple power button, it looks like a TV remote control. Don’t leave it out and invite people over, however, because that’s exactly what they’ll think it is. And then they’ll ask you “What’s wrong with your remote?!” as they furiously press the power button. To which you deadpan, “Nothing. What’s wrong with your remote?” as it writhes in their hand.

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The Slaphappy’s greatest asset is its flexibility. As the Stretch Armstrong of vibrators, it bends to reach difficult-to-touch areas in various positions—and since it’s flat, it’s not as intrusive as a typical vibrator. For example, it’s easily angled for clitoral stimulation—that elusive orgasm clincher absent in many hetero sex positions—in girl-on-top, doggy style, and even missionary position. While squishing a vibrator between your already squished-together nether regions tends to be more trouble than it’s worth, the Slaphappy is nimble enough to, uh, join the party. In fact, my partner found the residual vibration between us fairly pleasant for himself.

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As for internal stimulation, the vibrating tip can be angled directly against your g-spot. I found the Slaphappy’s shape a bit bizarre for internal use. For me, it just didn’t fit totally comfortably. But, as with all sexual preferences, you do you.

While squishing a vibrator between your already squished-together nether regions tends to be more trouble than it’s worth, the Slaphappy is nimble enough to, uh, join the party.

The Slaphappy also offers seven different vibration rhythms and speeds, allowing for some awesome tempo variation during sex. From sustained vibration to quick pulses, you (and your partner) are bound to find something that gets you off, be it quickly or a slow build.

The vibrator is relatively quiet. Nobody should be able to detect the sound unless they’re in your immediate vicinity and if they are, hopefully, they’re assisting in the process.

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Covered with high-grade silicone, the toy is smooth and soft—a nice combination when rubbed against your nether regions. It uses two AAA batteries, which keeps the toy affordable and batteries easy to come by. At a retail price of $65, the Slaphappy offers a bevy of sexy options at an accessible price point.

As for the namesake spanking function? The shape and materials lend pretty well to spanking, but, unlike stimulation from the seven-speed vibration motor concentrated on the underside of the toy, your partner can probably do just as good of a job with their hand. Basically, there’s better ways to put the toy to use. It’s a nice (or not so nice) touch, though.

Feature photo via tumblr



Courtney Hamilton

An avid writer, reader, feminist and french fry fanatic.