Ditch Your Fleshlight, This Guy Invented a Sex Toy with a Mouth, Vagina and Butthole

Mouth-Vagina-Butthole-Sex-Toy

When we last spoke with enterprising sex toy designer Brian Sloan—the man who brought you the Autoblow and the Slaphappy—he told us he was rolling out something new and exciting this fall. Well, it’s here and about 333% more than we expected. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the 3Fap.

The 3Fap is the Autoblow on steroids, with three ultra-realistic orifices (customizable in suction and texture) rolled into one toy. And while it maintains a lot of the things you loved about the Autoblow, it’s got a lot of new versatile features to, uh, play with. One bonus: Unlike the Autoblow, it’s silent. Almost.

Sloan clarifies in a riveting lesson on physics, grammar and human anatomy. “For those of you who don’t know, ‘fap’ is the onomatopoeic intransitive verb representative of the sound of male masturbation. Cows go ‘moo’, guns go ‘bang’, and jerking off goes ‘fap fap fap’. It’s actually the sound of your scrotum slapping against your upper thighs. Because this device is handheld, the force of moving it up and down over your penis may cause your scrotum to swing and then slap against your thighs, repeatedly, causing a ‘fapping’ sound,” he says. “So although this product will not make any noise on its own, a low level of noise may be caused by its use, depending on the size of your testicles, the momentum of your scrotum, and how far if at all your scrotum dangles.”

In case you didn’t get that, enjoy the jingle, below:

The 3Fap is the first toy to exclusively use 3D-scanned orifices. Sloan recently held a “Vaginal Beauty Contest,” where the world both submitted and voted on, well, beautiful vaginas. The winners’ mouths, vulvas and anuses, as well those of a handful of runners-up, were 3D scanned. “Two women’s anuses were too smooth to 3d scan (that was awkward) and one woman’s vulva was markedly different from her contest submission photo and was impossible to properly scan,” Sloan explains. They now have a library with 3D scans of 4 anuses, 6 mouths, and 5 vulvas that serves as the base of the 3Fap. There are also plans to make the orifices photorealistic, in collaboration with the creator of Real Doll.

The toy is currently in prototype mode and needs your help to fund a production line, along with a host of other goodies. You can currently snag an early bird deal—only $49!—on the toy if you contribute to the 3Fap’s Indiegogo campaign. Get to it.



Courtney Hamilton

An avid writer, reader, feminist and french fry fanatic.