Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person

In the mood for disheartening humor? The folks at The School of Life explain why you will inevitably marry the wrong person. If you’re at work and don’t have earphones, read the textual explanation below:

1. We don’t understand ourselves.

We’re all neurotic and deviant in our own ways. The problem is that we aren’t encouraged to explore why and since we don’t understand ourselves, that make it difficult for us to find somebody we’re compatible with. On a first date we stick to questions such as, “So, what do you do?” and “What college did you go to?” When really, we’re avoiding the questions we really want to ask. The questions that reveal if their crazy fits your crazy. Instead, we wait for these subtle nuances rear their ugly heads over time. Often, it takes years to figure this out and by then, it’s already too late.

2. We don’t understand other people.

On a first date we stick to questions such as, “So, what do you do?” and “What college did you go to?” When really, we’re avoiding the questions we really want to ask. The questions that reveal if their crazy fits your crazy. Instead, we wait for these subtle nuances rear their ugly heads over time. Often, it takes years to figure this out and by then, it’s already too late.

3. We aren’t used to being happy.

We crave the comfort of confusion, the intense highs and lows we felt when we were kids. It’s why we reject people who seem like perfect fits for us and gravitate towards people who will perplex us in “familiar ways”.

4. Being single is awful.

You have to be very OK with solo Netflix-binging and “sexlessness” if you want to be “choosy in the right way.” It’s a reason why so many people settle for the first person we can tolerate and who can tolerate us.

5. We hold romance on an unrealistic pedestal.

Instead of thinking about finding a compatible partner, movies and fairy tales teach us to let our instincts override what’s physically and emotionally best for us.

6. We don’t openly talk about love.

We love listening to stories about happy couples but we rarely invest time into listening to divorcees talk about why their marriages fail. We don’t get the full picture and let ourselves become deluded by the idea that marriage = life of fulfillment.

7. We want to freeze happiness.

We marry people with the idea that doing so will give us permanent happiness, when realistically it’s just a title that doesn’t change your moods in the long run.

8. You want to stop thinking about love.

You can’t stand the heartache, the disappointing one-night stands and disturbing run-ins with your ex and their new lover. So, you get married to stop having to think about love all the time.

But don’t worry, “in a few centuries at least, we’ll be getting the hang of it.”