The Cocksman Club, Condom Subscription Service for Dicks

There are only three possible reasons you’d need to sign up for the Cocksman Club:

1. You have so much game that you need a pack of condoms delivered to your house every month lest you be caught raw pickle with a group of horny co-eds clawing at your door.

2. You’re terrified of judgmental grocery clerks.

3. You’re kind of, well, a cock.

Launched officially on Tuesday, the Cocksman Club is a monthly service that delivers brand-name condoms straight to your door. Designed for “trend-setting influencers” like “athletes, fraternity guys, student government guys, [and] surf team guys,” Cocksman’s, ahem, packages start from “The Player,” at $5 for three condoms, all the way up to “The Legend,” at $20 for 24.

According to BetaBeat, the goal of the company is to “limit the surprises” risked by unprotected sex, and to spread “safe sex, rampantly.”

Go on, “Do it for your dick.”