They say that marriage, aka holy matrimony, is one of the most sacred days you’ll get to experience in your life. That’s all well and good, but every wedding deserves a proper shit show the night before.
So, men (and ladies, too, if you’re feeling up to it), here’s how to throw a bachelor party that doesn’t suck.
Step 1: Herd Kittens
The most important aspect of any bachelor party, no matter what the location, date, or activities, are the people you celebrate with. Your bachelor party is not limited to just people in the bridal party and family. Invite your buddies who won’t whine when your bring the forth round of tequila shots at one am and friends you can count on to haul your ass back to the hotel at seven in the morning.
Step 2: Don’t Be a Chump. Do Your Research
There are so many options in Las Vegas, it can be a bit overwhelming but doing the right research pays off. Spend an hour or two to scope out deals on rooms. Having the right promoters and contacts in your pocket helps. Depending on what you’re looking for, they’ll usually hook you up on the best hotels, nightclubs, dayclubs, strip clubs, etc. Just make sure you find a legit promoter and not one who’s going to send you to a “hot new club off the strip” filled with truckers and cranky strippers named Candy. Unless, that’s what you’re looking for. My go-to is TDG. You’re welcome.
Step 3: Live Like Billionaire (for a Day)
The biggest buzz kill to your bachelor weekend is the excitement of having everyone show up and check into their rooms, only to find out everyone is scattered all over the strip. You only get one bachelor party, so book a large suite for everyone to stay in. Being together will make the party much more seamless; Las Vegas has some of the world’s most epic and unique suites like the swanky Cosmopolitan Bungalows, the MGM Skylofts, and the Palms Fantasy Suites (basketball courts optional).
Step 4: Ride Don’t Walk
Ditch the taxis for a limo or party bus. There’s nothing like rolling through the Vegas lights with your party and champagne chilling in the backseat. This actually saves you money in the long run since you can get a flat rate fee on a limo unlike a taxi and can fit your entire crew to split the fare.
Plus, they’re readily available in almost every casino valet and there is rarely a wait, unlike the taxis and uber lines.
Step 5: When You’re Not Drinking, Do This
Las Vegas offers a variety of options from ATVs and Sky diving, to machine guns and racing fast cars. If you really want to choose an “activity” that involves booze, opt for a classy cognac and cigar lounge where you can shoot the shit while smoking Ramon Allones. Andre’s Lounge inside Monte Carlo is a good spot to check out for this.
Step 6: Hit the Pool
If you’re lucky enough to have your bachelor party during the summer, you can take advantage of the day-club pool parties. Book a cabana, trust me on this. It’s like having a full-blown club experience with lux furniture, mini fridges and TVs just for you and your crew.
Pro tip: Make sure you have a promoter for the day-clubs you want to visit for the best deals. If you try booking one day-of, they’ll either be all reserved or you’ll get ripped off by a couple thousand.
Step 7: Eat Some Goddamn Red Meat
A prime steak is a staple for any bachelor party. Las Vegas is a mecca for fine dining so don’t cheap out. There are both classic and contemporary steakhouses all over Las Vegas by renowned chefs like Michael Mina, Gordon Ramsey and Jose Andreas. These celeb chefs typically reserve their finest cuts in their Las Vegas restaurants, so take advantage of these choices that you may not find at your local steakhouse back home. This is not a time for salads and chicken.
Step 8: Pop the Obligatory Bottles
Bottle service at a nightclub is a bachelor party staple. Luckily, Las Vegas has most of the best nightclubs in the country all within arm’s reach. Again, make sure you go through a promoter on this if you don’t want to completely extinguish your bank account. Mixing high-end alcohol, a private area in a packed club and beautiful waitresses can rarely go wrong.
Step 9: The Strip Club(s)
Whatever you do, don’t call up the number on those cards they hand out on the strip. They are not reputable and you’ll probably end up getting pepper sprayed by a midget in a purple suit.
Luckily, if you’re looking for strippers, you came to the right city. You can usually set up a free or discounted limo to one of the many large strip clubs in Las Vegas. Spearmint Rhino and Sapphire are classic places to start (or end) the night.
Step 10: Cure Your Epic Hangover with a Champagne Brunch Buffet
The day after your bachelor party will most likely leave you with one of the worst hangovers of your life. Fill up on some savory breakfast food and champagne to bring you back to life. Almost every hotel in Vegas has a champagne brunch buffet on the weekends. If you want to stay on the strip, check out Buffet at Aria. If you’re literally too hungover to move and need your food and booze hand-carried to your table, head to the butler-style brunch at the Wynn’s La Cave.
PS: Don’t forget to document the whole thing! You’ll need the memories since you won’t have any of your own.