DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY IS INTENDED FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. WE’D ALSO LIKE TO KINDLY REMIND YOU THAT ANY MARIJUANA PURCHASED AND CONSUMED SHOULD BE DONE LEGALLY AND IS CONSUMED AT YOU OWN RISK.
We spotted these spongy beings at a local pot shop in Irvine, California. At $10 for a pack of two weed Twinkies, the fittingly named “Dankies” looked promising. However, if you’re having visions of freshly-baked cannabis cream-filled cakes — the budtender at said location claimed that the snacks are actual Twinkies whose original vanilla cream has been hollowed out and swapped with 1000 mg of THC-infused cream.
So, yes, they’re just gas station Twinkies that have been injected with sweet cream that will get you high and repackaged under a new stoner-friendly name. Still, we were curious and brought some home to enjoy as a pre-dinner treat.
After undressing the tiny cakes — kudos to the Dankies design team for the slick wrapper — we each tried a single weed Twinkie each. The taste was phenomenal — the Twinkie’s signature high fructose crack flavor complimented the light, earthy flavor of the weed cream. We kicked back and waited for the high to kick in.
An hour passed. 8 pm. Another hour. 9 pm. After 2 hours of feeling zilch, we started to get an inkling that these were a dud. By 9:30 we grabbed a greasy meal of fry-stuffed gyros with a notable lack of munchies. By 10:30 we still felt nothing and decided to call it day by smoking a bowl.
Lesson learned: Not all edibles end in glory. Sometimes, life is just a fancy Twinkie filled with false promises.
Photography by PHILGORGEOUS