Remember that scene in Cabin in the Woods when Marty, the token stoner, steps out of his hot-boxed car and transforms his enormous bong into a portable coffee mug? It’s arguably the best part of the movie, although Jules snogging the toothy mantelpiece is a close second. Since then, we’ve been waiting for someone to create an actual, functional coffee pipe.
Because doing it ourselves would involve too much concentration and… wait, are those Cheez-Its?
Coffee Mug Bong
IronMan Design LLC debuted product shots of their final sample. On the left you can see the coffee mug bong in its early stages; on the right, a easy-to-grip collar, a sleeker handle that doubles as a downstem, and a shinier surface have been added.
The website reads:
Designed to have the mobility of a travel coffee mug, then easily and quickly telescopes out into a water pipe for smoking tobacco! This one of a kind unique smoking pipe looks like a standard travel coffee mug that you can take with you on the go. It compacts into the the same size as a standard travel 20 oz mug. When it’s time to smoke tobacco, simply unsnap the bottom and telescope the device out. Perfect for your tobacco smoking needs. The handle of the coffee cup then unscrews and is inserted into the base. The mouthpiece that you smoke from is located on the top horizontal portion of the handle. Very easy to use design!. The ultimate coffee mug pipe!
You’ll need to be 18 to buy one when they roll out in late November. If this is something you can see yourself toting along in the mornings to work, email info@CoffeeMugPipe.com for price and delivery details. We’re currently coveting one, especially with Santa Claus swinging his fat rump around the corner.
Just add this to the ever-growing list of clever ways to toke, next to the 2-in-1 meta weed and beer bong. We know what you’re thinking, what ever happened to the good ol’ days of a simple blunt wrapped in tasty paper? But let me ask you this: Cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car. Why? They fear this man. They know he sees further than they and he will bind them with ancient logics.
I think I’m done here.