MADE OF: Instant ramen boiled in horchata, giving each sad noodle a hint of milky cinnamon. Cooked noodles are then strained, covered in whisked eggs, frozen, cut into donut shapes, fried to a crispy texture, then finished with toppings.
Yes, we’re talking fried circles of horchata-infused ramen stuffed with wet custard and soaked in chocolate glaze.
Before you throw up in your mouth, let Josh of Culinary Bro-Down explain:
If I only ate things that tasted good I’d carry around fat bags of Splenda, MSG, and Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos and just stuff them in my face all the time. I’d wash it all down with a CamelBak full of sugar water and citric acid that was morphine dripping down my throat in calculated intervals. Even though it would be awesome, and I’m considering this as a viable lifestyle change, it wouldn’t be at all fulfilling. There’s more to food than taste.
There’s a reason we’re so susceptible to packaging and marketing. There’s a reason Taco Bell can recycle the same 8 ingredients to make 300 test items per year and keep their menu fresh. There’s a reason generic soda brands have less than a 3 percent market share, despite performing just as well as Coke and Pepsi in double blind taste tests. Taste. Doesn’t. Mean. Shit.
After damning taste as a “logical fallacy and an exercise in Orwellian doublethink,” Josh proceeds to justify wasting “12 hours of my life on ramen donuts.” Apparently, it’s not just about stuffing your face with two things that should never touch each other with a 10-foot pole, it’s about being the
Lewis and Clark of the foodie frontier and making that noodle donut your Sacagawea.
In the end, it doesn’t matter if instant ramen makes a great donut or not. It’s about innovation and mind-fucking people on Instagram. Respect.
Ramen Donut: The Verdict
For those that need definitive answers, however, it’s safe to say that anything starchy, fried and slathered in sugar will be tasty. But that’s not the point. The point is that you’re stuffing your mouth hole with the catalyst for the next ramenpocalypse, and that’s called progress.
FOUND: Culinary Bro-Down
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